My Oooh My

OH MY GOD....

I'm soooo soooo upset today. Why? 

It's all started a week ago. There was this new member at my aerobic place. And guess what??? SHE SMELLS SO DAMN BAD!! I don't mean to be a bitch, but come on. It's a public place and she should respect other people by putting some effort to buy deodorant. She annoys me and a lot of others. To top it up, she showed up like she hasn't shower in ages. And like she never wash her hair since kindergarten. OH MY!! YOU'RE A GIRL!! I want to tell that in her face. But scared if she's psycho or something. And guess what? She always always always trying to be in the front row and squeeze in between people. There's a lot of older women saying mean things about this girl but I know it's not their fault. I have a friend and she's so damn quiet but she also saying things about this girl. OH YEA!! IT'S THAT BAD!!

HELPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ties The Knot

It's every girl's dream : having found the right match, being so in love at the point that you're always lovesick but can be yourself every second without being ashamed of your silly behavior, got engaged and get married ( then have cute little kids :) ).

My wedding dream is just simple, I've been dreaming getting married in Bali when the sun is setting in the background, in a nice chapel, attend by just family and close friends. I've seen some extravagant weddings, in big hotels, thousands of guests, mega expensive meals and celebrities. I never wanted one of those. I just want a simple wedding, where I wear a pretty and simple white dress, walking down the aisle towards my husband to be, holding a bouquet of fresh flowers. Our families and close friends smiling looking at us. Then when we exchange rings and vows, the sun setting beautifully, then we have nice meals. That's it.

I never dreamed and imagined this before until I meet you, honey:)

I love my William.....

The picture of my dream wedding chapel, Conrad Hotel Bali

3 Hours of Sleep

Huh, I miss my usual sleeping time : 8 hours. I've been having trouble sleeping lately and it ruins my mood, ruins my aerobic and ruins my eyes. I have bags under my eyes. I look soooo old:(

My Life is a Movie

I think my life is a movie and God is the director. I find a lot of obstacles and antagonists in my life. But God, a wonderful and great director he is, made me through those rough roads and I survived. I am an Oscar winner in heaven because of Him, and my Dear Father keeps walking with me through my every step and he held me up when it goes too hard. 

I've found my all

It's always sweet to be with somebody. In this case, I am so grateful that I have find my everything. I say that because in my boyfriend, I find him as my best friend, my brother, my leader and my soul. I love him so much that I care so much about him. We're happy together and there's this long road ahead us, sometimes there are bumps, but it's okay. We always face everything together. I'm so attached to him that I miss the time when I'm not with him. I miss him now even though today I spent the whole day with him. This is why I am sooo certain that I can spend the rest of my life with him. 

The one I was once watching in OPRAH

Finally I can enjoy food on birthdays:)

Oh, I forgot to tell you. Once I watched Oprah doing interview with two women. One was the one who suffering anorexia at that time, and the other was the one who recovered from it. The first woman was so skinny she had to shop in the kid's department. Her son, who was 5 years old at that time said, "I don't want Mommy to be like that. She's always too tired to play with me, she often forgets to pick me up at school. She looks like she's going to die. I don't want her to die. She used to be pretty, you should see her before looking like this. Mommy, I want you back" :*(

And I thought, MY GOODNESS! 

Then the other woman. She said she still thinking about food all the time. And guess what? Her 7 years old daughter, she does a diet. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I was eating ice cream and french fries when I was her age. She points to people who's fat in the streets. OMG!

See?? Eating disorder is a big problem. I hate it so bad and I feel bad for those who suffer from it. I lost my 3 years of my youth. Whoever reads this shouldn't!!!!

Oh yeah, I also read in Girlfriend or Dolly, I didn't remember. A girl suffered TEN YEARS of anorexia, lost half of her hair, have troubles breathing and having heart attack, malfunction of liver. Poor girl:( 

Recovering from EVERYTHING:)

If you are special in a way, sometimes some people just jealous at you and would love love love to bring you down. I think it's natural in a way because some girls just tend to have jealousy one another. But sometimes their crucial comments just get to you. This morning I was doing my aerobic, then afterwards I heard a group of high school girls behind me talking. "I'm fat! I'm fat! Do you think I'm fat?" "No you're not. Oh wait. See that girl in that orange shirt? She's so skinny. I wanna be like her!". And right away I know that THE GIRL IN THE ORANGE SHIRT is my friend, and I think she's a model and she's super skinny. It's impossible if it's not genetic that we'll have a body like that. 

I think girls should realize that we have different shapes and sizes. We have different looks, we have different lives. And we are all BEAUTIFUL. We are special in a way and we should not talk trash about other girls. I mean, as a girl you will be upset if someone says bad things behind your back. We have to be thankful for what we are. We're going to live just once, and we have to live to the fullest.

THAT'S what I learn recovering from anorexia. I know that my super skinny body didn't make me happy. Being in love, hanging out with friends, eating good food, doing sports and make friends, shopping, and not thinking about body and weight all the time is the happiness beyond words and beyond everything. I love my life:)

I am......SMITTEN!!!!

The SMITTEN yoghurt is sooo nice, and on top of it, it's really healthy. It tastes sort of like Sour Sally, but slightly different in a way. They are available in three flavors : greentea, taro and plain. There are also various toppings that you can choose. I like greentea yoghurt with almond and mochi. You should try it:) 

sushi dinner and a lil bit of shopping

I went to sushi tei for dinner ( I didn't exactly having sushi, I had a plate of tempura maki only. Usually I'm having plenty. haha. I had the yasai itame and the salmon teriyaki), then across the street there's this factory outlet/boutique so I went for a bit of shopping :)


HAPPY :)

what I bought

When you guys do visit Bandung and have meals in Sushi Tei, check out the factory outlet across the sreet. It has a bunch of collection of cute casual wear:D

Excuse the poor picture quality, I should've brought my SLR Canon camera:(

His Shoes = My Giant Shoes

Wow, I never realized my boyfriend's shoes size is big... Now, I feel TINY!! :)

What a FRIEND...

I believe that we cant find a bestfriend, not a close friend, but BESTFRIEND, easily. A person with ability to accept whoever you are, and believe you and be there for you when everybody turns against you.

I have this friend and we've been really close. I never see her again from the day I went to Singapore, but I met her recently. It's weird that she seems to avoid all my calls and my texts. Turns out, a friend told me that some people told her that I was spreading rumours about her. Well, I was in shock because I didn't even start it, I didn't even know! I heard people telling me bad things about her, like, everybody back in high school but back then, I didn't even believe it. But now, she didn't even ask me what happens and she judged me like that. I know everyone's talking, but hey, I KNOW I DIDN'T. I've been hanging out with a bunch of different friends that don't even know her. What's the point? I explained to her but she didn't believe me. What a friend, right? I didn't push her to believe me, I've explained that's it. She asked me to meet her and some people who told her, but what's the point. Somebody told me to grow up and talk to her, and better be enemies with those bad people. But WHAT'S THE POINT? I don't want to give a damn about things I don't even know. I know I'm right, and I'm not the one who supposed to chase her around and say SORRY. I'm going to remain silent, do nothing, and for those who wants to give a damn about that, be it. Go ahead. But not me.

Anyway, my bestest friend is coming in July. YAYYYYY:)

Now, she's a BESTFRIEND. And I really really miss her.

I'm back:)

hi...
I've been soooo very busy these past few weeks I didn't have time to update my blog, I didn't even have time to relax!!Now, I'm back and have a few stories about bullying and recovering from anorexia..

tell u bout it later:)

How anorexia ate me up

Read my previous posting about how I love Starbucks? I didn't even dare to eat ice cubes that made from water at the time I was anorexic. I know I was anorexic when I read The Olsen Twins on some magazines about Mary Kate Olsen. I didn't want to be that way forever. I exercised excessively, I ate only one orange and a bowl of papaya a day, I always exhausted and the hunger made me feel cranky all the time. I isolated myself for a long time. I didn't have the power to walk up the stairs but I do feel pump up to exercise. I see thinness but I feel fatness all over me. I went for aerobics and fitness six days a week, three hours a day. I never go out because I was afraid to eat. I was scared and felt alone. At that time, nobody understands me except for my Mom. I didn't want to see my friends because they always told me to eat something. I got angry at them for just doing that. I wasted almost three years of my life doing those daily routines of just exercising, isolated myself from friends and eating, never go out and being cranky and scared and angry. Can you imagine that? Now, I felt so sorry for those who gets the same eating disorder as I am. It's not something that you can just leave. You have to build a strong mind and soul. Otherwise, It will come and eat you up again. Even when you're healthy again, sometimes it comes and surround you. I'm tired of it and now, every single day, I talk to my mind " you're young, you still have your chance to build yourself up again, being beautiful and you're not fat, you're just the right size, you already exercised a lot and you will never ever get fat". It works and I'm still working on it. Oh, did I told you that I also having a hard time breathing at the time? and also my heart beats sometimes slower than usual and then just go faster and faster until I sweat like crazy? well, it happens. What worse is that my weight went down from 47 to 35 kg. And when I moved to Singapore, I didn't see my therapist, trying to survive by myself and because of the crashing diets, I ended up putting on weight soooo fast that I gain so much til 60 kg. It was a nightmare.

NOW, I am 48 kg, eating right, and building a beautiful mindset.

For those who their loved ones suffering, please get help as soon as possible. I've been through hell and it was not pretty at all. I was in desperate need of help.

Last weekend

Last Saturday, I went to PVJ with my boyfriend and I had a really great time. Movie marathon. It's sooo good. After watching Fast & Furious, we decided to watch Monsters vs Aliens. Two different exciting movies. Afterwards, we went to dinner. The next day, we also went to watch Slumdog Millionaire. It's a great movie. It's beyond great. Really heartbreaking and breathtaking. I love this weekend. And sigh, it's Tuesday already and I have a lot of design assignments:(
I have this class, the 2D design compositions and the lecturer's not cool. I always attend the class, but she didn't take my attendance twice, and refuse to declare it with the administration people. It wasn't my fault, and if I failed her class, it's her fault. God, living in Indonesia is so different with mine a year ago in Singapore. The university? I give a thumb down.

she's sooooo cool!!

Everyone, I think you know who she is... If you dont, ouch! how sad.
A really really edgy and fashionable girl, AGYNESS DEYN. She's soooo cool I wish I can pull such an edgy style like her. I think she's the hottest supermodel I've ever seen.

last night

Last night I went to dinner with my relatives from OZ. It turns out to be a big family event. But I love it and it's so cute seeing my cousin having a hard time to speak indonesian. He moved there when he was little and now he understands more english than indonesian.

see the shoes?

Here's the thing. I shop A LOT. I think I have problems seeing nice things because I will buy it no matter how much it is. I have lots of shoes. More than you can imagine. BUT, I never know why oh why if I feel comfortable with one pair of shoes, I never let it go. Like the one at the picture, it so comfortable. My boyfriend tried to get rid of those shoes so I will wear something else, but still. He has to try harder.

meet my boyfriend

This is my boyfriend, William. We've been together for almost six months and still going strong. Sure, we argue a lot. Really, A LOT. But he's still the nicest person and he has a humongous sense of humor. Sometimes some desperate girls call him, and that is when I get really angry and want to kick their butts. But anyway, he just says 'who's this' and if he didn't know who's calling he just hung up. Good for me:)

election day

After the election, I went to Starbucks, my fave place to chill out and have some greentea frappucino. I'm addicted to it and luckily I have a Starbucks nearby from home. I always go there, sometimes almost everyday, that I already friends with each everyone of the barista. They know I love my greentea costumized and they call it "greentea ica". Cute name. You know how I like it? greentea frappucino no whip extra caramel sauce double greentea powder double blend with dome and sleeve. Hmm... no wonder they shortened it to greentea ica. Anyway, they giving out free coffees for those who did vote. The queue was really long and fortunately, I went there earlier and get the nicest spot! haha :)

greentea ica


cute little coffees they're giving out


the nicest baristas you'll ever find

Let me introduce myself:)

Hi all...
I'm starting this blog because I love writing and taking pictures, and telling people about my life. I chose BEAUTIFUL MIND as the name of my blog, simply because I would love to have that in my world. Being beautiful in my mind, body and soul. It is hard for me to be that way because I suffered from anorexia nervousa for about 3 years and a half, and it was a tough time for me dealing with everything. I went to therapy but it was useless, I suffered but nobody understands. My friends thought it was just a little issue for me, but it wasn't. Nobody was really supportive. And that was the time that I decided, I have to build a beautiful mind myself and I was healed. I still have to struggle myself because there's still something going on inside my mind, and I know that someday, somehow, I can be beautiful inside and out. So, welcome to my world!! :)

XOXO,
missmariezriezriez